The Joys of Limbo

I've had some time to think about this whole Nomination Confusion thing and to get used to the idea that I no longer have a program I am nominated for. A part of me is still generally very confused about how this all happened (I never would have agreed to leave before my Masters program was done, how did I get nominated for a time I couldn't leave?) and another part of me is still worried about the consequences of this Confusion (do they still want me? will I still get an invite? what if they think I'm not dedicated or responsible enough because of this happening?), but as the days go by, these parts grow smaller and smaller. And more and more of me becomes excited.

When I thought I was leaving in September to Eastern Europe / Central Asia, no matter how much I tried, I couldn't keep off of PCwiki and looking at the staging dates and trying to figure out where I was going to go. I had narrowed it down to two or three places, and I had read blogs about them and wondering what life would be like in those places. I was constantly wondering about where I would be going and secretly hoping for one of those two or three places. I know you shouldn't get your heart set on any specific place because it's probably going to change, but I just couldn't help it.

Now, pretty much any place is a possibility. Any program leaving in September or October (or beyond) anywhere in the world is fair game. I gave a quick look at the list of places with Staging in those months, and it's just incredible the wide range of places that are possible: Jordan, Tonga, Ukraine, Mozambique, so on and so forth, on and on. And pretty much every place I read about, that I do a little research into, I get excited about. Each place has their own challenges, their own personality, and sounds simply amazing.

It's funny, now that there are so many more possibilities of where I can go, I am no longer plagued with wondering where I'm going like before. I am no longer hoping for a specific place. That aspect of my restlessness is completely gone. After my quick search through PCwiki, I no longer have the desire of trying to figure out where I might be going. There are just too many places, too many possibilities to even begin to wonder which of them I could be heading to. The entire world is a possibility. It's incredibly liberating and very exhilarating.

As my wonderful dad said: 'It will work out and you will be assigned someplace that you will find interesting and challenging; a place where you can help the people the most.' I am absolutely thrilled to see where that place turns out to be.